Should You Work With Agents?

‘Well, this guy is a blowhard,’ I thought. Typical bedroom agent.’

I was in the middle of a call with a guy wanting to book me for a big fundraising event in a town about ten minutes away.

He started the call by asking me if I’d love to have over 750 kids see me.

I immediately thought, ‘Oh great, he’s pushing the exposure angle.’

I stuck to my guns, quoted my fees, and waited for him to react.

He went on and on about all the other events he’d like to book me for.

After a bunch of hyperbole was spun, he dropped a bombshell: he didn’t have a website yet.

This, despite the fact that he had several bounce houses and other large pieces.

And of course, part of his pitch to me involved lowering my prices so he could book me a ton of shows.

He kept pushing for discounts before I finally said, “Look, I’m busy as hell. I can barely keep up with everything I have going on. And I’m only one guy.”

In short, I explained I didn’t have much interest in discounting my prices because I was already so busy.

We booked one gig together. As for the rest? I imagine we won’t be going further since he’s so insistent on discounts.

He’s a typical ‘bedroom agent.’ That’s the term my original stage hypnosis mentor coined for low-dollar agents.

They run a small business, trying to get acts signed up for a song so they can peddle their low-dollar wares to clients used to haggling for low prices.

When I first went full-time 22 years ago, I worked with a few of these agents. They promise you the world as long as you come in at rock-bottom prices.

At the time, it was good for me. I hadn’t kicked up my own marketing machine yet, and those low-dollar gigs helped me get in the reps I needed to get good at performing.

But today? Don’t come near me with discount offers.

A few years before the pandemic, I became associated with another agent, one for school shows. They kept asking me to discount my fees to travel 7 hours to New Jersey.

I finally exploded on them, telling them to quit coming to me asking me to lower my fees, especially for a friggin’ 14-hour round trip.

And of course, many people reading this will likely have their own Phillip & Henry story.

If you’re not familiar with them, they are a national agency in the U.S. offering obscenely low fees…and in many cases, stiffing the acts.

In 201, they called me and offered me $50 for a birthday party show. It gets better.

The show was several HOURS away. I’d lose money on the gig.

Using very harsh language, I told them to never contact me again with such an insulting offer.

Some agents are just the worst.

After reading all of this, you might think I despise all agents. Not at all.

Around 17 years ago, a lady from Florida contacted me about performing gigs on her behalf.

She needed new acts to satisfy some long-term clients. She had found me online and wanted to check me out.

We spent an hour discussing things, including ethics, clean shows, insurance, etc.

We were both satisfied with how the conversation went and wound up working together for the next 8 years or so.

Trouble is, most of her gigs involved flying, which wears me out. I eventually parted ways with her, thanking her for the great years of work.

Some agents are great. Some are awful. Deciding to work with an array of agents really comes down to personal choice.

I always ask myself a few questions before deciding whether to accept an agent’s offer:

• Is the money worth it?

I’m busy enough that I don’t need agents. But if the right one came along, I’d consider it.

I know a guy working with that school show agent. Apparently, he’s making a ton of money off of them.

I don’t get why they always tried to low-ball me, but apparently, he’s successful.

But if the money sounds good, I’ll listen.

• Does the agent provide critical details?

I’ve had some crappy agents call me, saying they need a magic show.

I then ask them what kind of magic show? Birthday? School? What kind of gig?

They always respond with, “Uhhh…it just says ‘magic show.’”

Translation? They couldn’t be bothered to get even the most basic details about said gig.

I always refuse this crap. Last thing I want to do is walk into a gig completely blind. Stupid.

• Does the agency seem reputable?

I ended a relationship with one agency because they had their kids’ entertainment options listed on the same website as their strippers.

I’m not judging anyone’s decision to hire a stripper. Okay, that’s a lie.

I assume many people looking for kids’ entertainment would be put off by the idea of strippers.

If the agent passes the sniff test, I consider working with them.

Now let’s flip the script.

Let’s say you do decide to work with an agent. You need to do your part, too. There are a few rules to follow:

• Don’t hand out your own promotional material to people at the gig.

The agent got you the gig. They deserve any spinoff business. If people like what you did, hand them the agent’s business card and ask them to request you when they call.

• Treat the gig as though you booked it.

What do I mean by this? Simple. Many of us, when performing a low-dollar gig, may be tempted to just phone it in at the show.

Don’t do that. It’s up to you to give it your all. You decided to take the gig. If you accepted a lower fee, that’s your decision.

The people at the gig have no idea about how fees work with agents. They simply booked entertainment and expect to be entertained.

• Abide by the agent’s request on how to do business.

Some agents may ask you to check in with the client a few days before the event. Like the client, they want you to be dependable.

This last point really fries me with so many variety artist entertainers. They literally can’t be bothered to respond to phone calls, respond to emails, or just basic communication.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been praised by clients for my professionalism. I hear horror stories all the time about entertainers who don’t bother to show up.

Be professional. You’ll stand out.

Agents can be a wonderful source of additional income if you meet the right ones.

Treat them well because they’re handing you gigs without any marketing effort on your part.

Have a great week!

--Cris

 
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