A Mental 'Hack' When Talking to Your Clients

I shook my head and thought, how else can I say this?

It was Thursday morning, and I was in the office of a school. I had just wheeled in my first load of equipment. I’ve designed my school shows to be able to get everything in the door in two trips.

The lady I was speaking to was having a hard time understanding me.

I had explained to her once I dropped off this load of stuff in the gym (where I was performing) I would go back to my car to get my second, final load.

The lady didn’t get it.

Trying to be helpful, she suggested, “You can leave your stuff here and go get your second load.”

“No,” I said. “I need this cart to wheel everything in.”

“Oh,” she said. “Well, if you trust our custodian, you can let her take it to the gym while you get your second load.”

“I can’t,” I explained, forcing myself to smile. “I need this cart to carry everything from my car.”

Then she had the ‘solution:’ “You know, it’s much closer to the gym around back. You only have to go up five stairs.”

“That won’t work,” I explained. “I don’t want to carry everything up the stairs. That will turn one trip into about six.”

Everything she finally understood (after a few more exchanges) that I had to go to the gym with my first load of stuff, empty the cart, and take it with me back to my car for my second load.

But I don’t blame her. She, as it turns out, is the principal of the school. And she has more important things to worry about than the magician’s equipment.

I tell this story to illustrate what many professional magicians have to go through at nearly every job.

Here’s the thing: There’s a mental ‘hack’ you can use to keep your frustration level down and get what you need.

Anyone who’s known me for any length of time knows I’m a huge proponent of NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

But NLP is OT some of the awful mentalism tricks that have come out over the years. Most of those tricks flat out don’t work because the folks peddling those tricks don’t truly understand what NLP is all about.

As a result, folks like Docc Hilford (among others) openly deride NLP as a sham. Docc understands NLP better than most magicians, and his assessment of most NLP used in magic is something I agree with.

Forget all the tricks.

At its core, NLP is about simple communication.

One of the tenants, “or ten commandments,” of NLP is one I follow almost daily. It states that when two or more people are interacting, the person with the most flexibility has the most power.

I’m not saying power is in lording over other people. In the case of my school principal, I used that tenant as a way to maintain my sanity.

The message I was trying to communicate wasn’t sticking with her for some reason.

My guess? She had a hundred other things on her mind and wasn’t 100% focused on me.

With that tenant of NLP in mind, I simply kept restating what I was trying to tell her in different words. (Yes, I heavily edited my recounting of our conversation. It was muuuuuch loooonger.)

This eventually helped me get through to her. And it saved me from getting frustrated.

So I had the power to eventually communicate something without tempers flaring.

And this leads to another tenant of NLP. If there’s a problem in communication, assume the problem is me. And try something else.

I get so frustrated when people communicate effectively and then claim the other person doesn’t ‘get it.’

All of us use verbal shortcuts when we communicate. And verbal communication isn’t the most effective form of communication anyway. There are a lot of nuances to contend with. Context of the situation, vocal tonality, expressions on faces, and on and on.

But the biggest roadblock to effective communication is that many people are not completely focused on the conversation they are having., They only half-listen to the person they’re talking to. They’re simply waiting for a gap in the conversation to jump in with their next comment.

The result? We only ‘hear’ parts of any conversation. Then come the misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and arguments.

The next time you’re at a gig and someone doesn’t understand your request or what you’re trying to say, keep this little tip in mind:

“How can I change what I’m saying to help this person understand what I’m trying to communicate?”

At the very least, it will help you stay calm and minimize your frustration.

Want to get into the school market? I have an entire course dedicated to it HERE.

Until next time, have a great week.

--Cris

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Need help in multiple areas? I can help you with your website, direct mail, email, or other marketing strategies. I also offer consulting services for crafting magic routines or even entire shows. Want to find out more? Shoot me an email at cris@theprofessionalmagicianclubpro.com.

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