Don't Get Bit by a Big Lizard

Do you know what to do at your shows? More importantly, do you know what NOT to do?

That may seem like a bizarre question, but I was reminded of just how few performers truly know how to answer that question at a show I performed this week.

My long-term suspicions about the ‘professionalism’ of many family entertainers were confirmed this week. I heard several stories about other entertainers this week, but the story I’m going to share highlights the problem.

The show was for a local school. Thirty minutes from my house. It was for an end-of-the-year celebration. Many elementary schools in the United States coast through the last few days of school. Many schools even have a big ‘fun day’ to blow off steam.

They often call it “field day.” I’m assuming the name comes from the fact the kids are out in the playground and baseball fields playing games, climbing in bounce houses, and other fun activities.

If you’ve never performed at such an event, they’re a blast. I’m going to devote an entire episode of the podcast to covering field day events.

One of the main reasons why I’m doing it is because field days are so different psychologically from standard in-school assemblies.

The kids are jazzed. Super jazzed. Without the right show, they can be tough to control. Anything you do for these audiences has to be fast-paced and fun. Now is not the time for the ten-minute routine that starts with a four-minute story about how your grandfather got you into magic when you were a kid.

The kids won’t hold still and surprisingly, neither will the adults.

(Trust me, I’m getting to the lizard. I gotta set the stage first.)

Personally, I love field days. They’re high-energy and a lot of fun. Many schools still book me for an educational show for these events which I think is a mistake. The kids won’t retain as much because it’s the end of the school year and they’ve mentally checked out.

Nevertheless, about half of my field day bookings are educational shows. The other half is just for fun shows. Fast-moving, great magic, laughs, and a focus on fun. I love them!

At the school in question, I performed two shows, both to rave reviews. The adults were beyond thrilled. They praised my show for being age-appropriate, fast-moving, and perfect for the end.

For me it was easy.

I know my audience.

Here’s the point of the whole story. After the second show, one of the adults in charge approaches me and says, “Thank you! That was so perfect for our kids. Not like the animal people we had a few years ago.”

Sensing fodder for my newsletter, I pressed.

“Oh? What happened?”

“Well,” she elaborates, “We hired this group that came in to show the kids these exotic animals. One of them was a great big lizard. It was a Komodo Dragon!”

I knew it wasn’t actually a Komodo Dragon, but most likely it's close relative, a Savannah Monitor. They’re more often seen in captivity and are slightly more docile than Komodos. I know this because I used to have one. They’re beautiful creatures and rather aggressive.

My client continues.

“So, this lady is holding this big lizard,” she says, “holding her arms apart, indicating a five-foot-long lizard as the source of this tale. “She’s telling us, ‘You gotta calm these kids down! The lizard’s going to bite!’”

I shook my head. So stupid. I’ll explain why in a moment.

“We looked at her and looked at the kids and shrugged,” she says.

I pipe in, “Well, of course. Kids are going to get excited seeing something like that live. And for a field day event, kids are always more energetic than usual.”

My client nods, “Right! But this lady is starting to panic. She says again, ‘you don’t understand! You have to calm these kids down!’ And sure enough, this big lizard bit her on the neck and hurt her badly.”

I start laughing.

She smiles and says, “I feel bad saying this, but all of us still laugh about it.”

I said to her, “She got exactly what she deserved.”

And I stand by that.

As I explained to my client, there was no way she should have brought that lizard in front of those kids. If she knew the lizard got agitated around loud groups of people, it was her fault for getting bit.

Why? Simple.

She should have known her audience. If she had, she would have understood that just seeing the lizard was going to get the kids riled up. It’s an amazing sight for the kids, one they likely will never see up close ever again.

And field day events are filled with even louder, more excited kids. It’s the nature of the event. It’s how kids are.

By not understanding what kind of event she was walking into, the lady with the lizard and the whole team who decided to bring it was to blame. The animal didn’t understand what was happening. It got scared. And it reacted as any animal would. By defending itself.

Mostly I feel bad for the lizard.

The moral of the story is to know your market.

Are you a corporate performer? Some tricks and routines will not be appropriate for that market.

Birthdays? Ditto.

In fact, every market has a laundry list of things you should and should not do.

While every rule can theoretically be broken under social circumstances, I believe that knowing your market and making smart decisions will prevent most show disasters.

Next week, I will cover how to craft an effective USP. I know I was supposed to do it this week, but this story was just too good to skip. Great stories like this are why soon I may change the newsletter format and move to a daily newsletter, or at least multiple issues a week.

By the way…whenever you’re ready, here are 4 ways I can help you grow your magic business to book more shows at higher fees:


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